


Handle

by glassgoblin



Series: Random Rogues [73]
Category: Star Wars Legends: X-wing Series - Aaron Allston & Michael Stackpole, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 09:48:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3406136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassgoblin/pseuds/glassgoblin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He has dark moods too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Handle

There was no going back. He had killed too many people for his life to ever go back to what once had been called happy-go-lucky. Some of them caused no guilt at all because they were actively trying to kill him at the time they died. Some of them still caused him trouble sleeping though; the ones caught in the crossfire of battles and who were in the wrong place at the wrong time when Stormies opened up on Rebel groups. They never hesitated in returning fire, and people always died. People who didn’t need to die, who shouldn’t have died.

Wes sighed, leaning back into the worn cushions of the couch. He had been having such a good day. He pranked Tycho and Hobbie had gotten blamed for it, teased Gavin until the kid blushed, and had even won a few hands of sabaac. Something changed though, and he wasn’t quite sure of what it was. Something that he overheard, or that was said to him that struck him in a vulnerable spot. He frowned, not liking this feeling.

He didn’t have many dark moments, but when they came it always hit harder than he expected and took him deeper than he ever wanted to go. Even Hobbie couldn’t break through to him sometimes, which scared both of them. Hobbie had dark moments too, but his usual brand of pessimism allowed him to hide the truly dangerous depressions. Wes was usually upbeat so it was noticed by the others sooner and he could only take so much of Wedge’s concern or Tycho’s sympathy. He never thought he deserved either.

When he had stopped laughing during the game, and then remained quiet he could see Hobbie figuring out what was going on; Hobbie knew his mercurial moods. They looked at each other for a moment between hands and Hobbie tipped his head to indicate one of the couches in the darkened area of the lounge. Wes knew that he could make an escape and Hobbie would cover for him, so he snapped off a quick joke and left the game. Hobbie would likely follow after another couple of hands and no one else would need to know that Wes was having a mood. He wouldn’t try to talk Wes out of brooding, for which Wes was grateful, but he could understand where the mood came from and what to listen for when Wes was ready to talk again.

Wes frowned, trying to relax and ignore the noise from the others. He didn’t want to spoil their evening, but sometimes the loud conversations about nothing important and all of the distractions that they engaged in to avoid thinking about the missions bothered him. Mostly because he used those coping mechanisms too often and wished they would actually work for longer than a night or a week, or even a single mission. He wanted to be able to handle all of what they were throwing at him, without resorting to quick fixes that would only patch the damage until after the war. They all knew that there wouldn’t be time to repair the emotional damage until later, if they lived that long.

A shadow crossed in front of him and he looked up to see Hobbie. His friend gave him a grim smile and sat next to him on the couch, not saying anything. There was too much understanding between them that didn’t require words.


End file.
